Don't Torture a Duckling

• Gore

• T'is but a scratch

  1

• A minor laceration

  2

• Just a flesh wound

  3

• Bloodied but unbowed

  4

• Entangled in entrails

  5

• Nudity

• A humbling display of modesty

  1

• The occasional flash of flesh

  2

• Just as nature intended

  3

• We ain't nothing but mammals

  4

• Caligula would have blushed

  5

• Scares

• Resting Pulse

  1

• Mild palpitations

  2

• Heart pumping

  3

• Adrenalin rush

  4

• Cardiac arrest

  5

• Fear

• Soothing lullaby

  1

• Slightly chilled

  2

• Spine tingling

  3

• Creeping dread

  4

• Wide-eyed terror

  5

• Trauma

• No known mental health issues

  1

• We all go a little mad sometimes

  2

• There's nothing to lose but your mind

  3

• Immediate psychiatric help required

  4

• Lunatics have taken over the asylum

  5

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