Alright, show of hands—I’m serious, raise your hand—how many people reading this were born in the 70s? Were you hyped for the original It like so many people are for the new one? Because people are freaking the fuck out over this new trailer.
Man, things have really changed since 1990, huh? Remember Milli Vanilli and Furbies and all that shit? Remember how innocent and short advertising campaigns used to be? Just kinda annoying, really. Ooh, shit, remember how scary Tim Curry was in the first It? Remember when Tim Curry in makeup acting like a lunatic was scary?
I don’t, I’m not old and clowns don’t scare me. I can remember the moment I realized the world has really changed, though, when it really dawned on me how different cinema is now: seeing the new trailer for the trailer of the Stephen King’s It (1990) remake.
This latest trailer shows that content aside, this is a modern, high-budget horror feature. The Losers Club stand up straight and tall and look forlornly over their shoulders at things. Pennywise jumpscares at you out of the dark, howling like a Ringwraith, all teeth and fangs. Iconic lines are literally screamed and remixed into the soundtrack to remind you that yeah, this is the new It. This is 2017 It.
We get teasers for teasers and sleek, sexy trailers one after another and we get a sleek, sexy new Pennywise. No more Tim Curry as a crazy guy in clown makeup. This thing’s a fucking monster. We get an all-new It—and this one doesn’t give a fuck. It isn’t playing games with anybody, it’s here to eat a bunch of kids. This It looks like it’s about as subtle (and just as bloodthirsty) as Jason Vorhees.
This trailer isn’t all bad, though: the movie looks expensive and polished and clean. The rhythmic editing, the soundtrack and the tense, screechy score makes the trailer look cool in that “we spent a lot of money on making this look cool” kind of way… Which hopefully, they did. Hopefully they spent a straight up shitload of cash on this because the last act could be off the hook.
Even with all the worrying changes to the writing… and directing… aaand production teams over the course of its eight-year quagmire of a creation, the word on the street is that this one’s an even more faithful adaptation of the novel than the original film. As iffy as that might seem in light of the heavy budget cuts from New Line during its creation, it’s worth mentioning.
After all, that raises the only question anybody really has about this thing anyway: yall think all the kids are gonna fuck in the sewer or nah? They totally do it in the book. Look it up. I guess either way we’ll find out when the movie comes out September 8th in theaters nationwide to what we all know is gonna be explosive hype whether or not it’s any good.